turn this around.

2009-11-12T23:23:00.002+08:00

Because I'm flighty and lack creativity:
madeofhelim.tumblr
madeofhelim.tumblr
madeofhelim.tumblr
madeofhelim.tumblr
madeofhelim.tumblr

2009-10-26T21:08:00.002+08:00

Now I'll just pray that everything in my life falls into place nicely and that I don't die along the way.

Everything is going to be alright.

2009-10-24T11:16:00.002+08:00

(by theskiesthelimit)

2009-10-21T22:34:00.005+08:00

Days are good. Mini-Olympics was spent watching hot girls play Captain's ball and hunks run and sitting around in class singing songs and playing blind mice/murderer/heart attack/water war (sorry Yueren! :x). Some house-visiting and breakfast and taking a longer route home just because it feels good to be like "Oh, I've got time~".

I felt like strangling myself after getting back each paper. D<

I think I hate blogging.

Yes I'll marry the guy who sings me this song +swoons+. <:

2009-10-17T18:31:00.001+08:00

Tell me why I'm always falling short.

2009-10-10T19:45:00.003+08:00

Another two to three weeks before Secondary 2 is nicely wrapped up and ready to be kept.

From waking up every single school-day morning with dread, to quiet surrender and acceptance, to now, being unconcerned and dispassionate.

Its been a long way. Its been a long two years.

I'm happy like that, you know? Withdrawing from this. Asking for less and taking things as it is. It makes things so much easier. I was tired and frustrated but I'm happy now. I'm happy now.

-

I need to stop dropping my phone. I've already dropped it in every single pattern you can imagine.

-

Funny how you came into my life out of nowhere and changed things. Curious how my mood fluctuates with yours. Shocking how I'm beginning to believe in something I vowed I will never trust.

2009-10-06T20:00:00.002+08:00

I don't know what I'm doing but I think it'll be something good.

2009-09-26T22:20:00.001+08:00

And I'm falling, falling, falling..

2009-09-19T18:48:00.004+08:00

Getting freaked by l4d and being nonchalant about not studying.

My life's upside down.

2009-09-16T23:22:00.004+08:00

I'm going to blog about investiture even though I look like a panda. Already.

Wait wait. First I'm going to tell you that its injustice how all the subjects get whooping difficult in a single term. Talk about bombardment. Oh well.

Sudden change in arrangement left us all panicky and hoarse but I guess we reacted OK. Walking-in was scary since I wasn't mentally prepared and haven't quite calmed down yet. My Huge Embarrassing Mistake That I Hoped No One Noticed and wobbled steps we made it on stage and the stuff carried on.

Handover was... I guess all the rehearsals made investiture seemed like its all about formally introducing the Secondary Ones and it didn't quite hit me that it meant the official handing over of the Secondary Fours until the actual thing. There was like this really cold gush of guilt and nostalgic when they talked and hugged. It reminded me of why I joined council in the first place.

And how somewhere along the road I felt so sick and tired.

Walked-out, videos and dances. Singing and swaying, pretending lyrics and laughing.

My First Kiss! (No, I'm not turned on.)

Photos, cards, cheers and hugs.

Got caked by the same person 9 months ago and smelled grossly of chocolate and cream (Cake you watch out hor!).

It was good just sitting down talking to people (Hannah, Claudia, Selina, Nicholas, Kenneth, Joel) at fast food restaurants. :D

Its okay, don't worry about it. I'm sorry I said the wrong things. I'm sorry it had not been my best.

2009-09-06T23:09:00.002+08:00

I understand that days will not always be sunshine yellow and bouncing steps. There's bound to be some point in life where insecurity and bitterness seeps in through the cuff of your pants and the collar of your shirt. Unknowingly. Perhaps willingly.

It haunts your heart and floods your mind. It lingers. It hurts.

I know this will pass. Its just how many pieces of me it took along.

2009-09-01T20:47:00.002+08:00

I want to be pretty and smart and multi-talented and speak properly for heaven's sake.

2009-08-11T22:09:00.003+08:00

This is what a defeated person do.

She finally puts her foot down, not to work harder, but to quit. She felt glad, even relieved, but cannot stop wondering if it was the right decision.

2009-08-07T21:17:00.000+08:00

Sometimes all we need is some toe-crushing, a shiny gold plate, Subway meal, blading, a little falling down, singing, small talks, leisure reading and laptop-dropping-on-already-crushed-toe to feel alright again.

No, nothing's wrong. Not anymore. Not now.

2009-08-01T23:27:00.003+08:00

Charlene Day, Xiaoqian Day, Hillsong Concert, APEC Performance and Handover photos coming up when Blogger decides it's well enough (guitar-related photos on Facebook though).

I can't really remember what happened this past few days/weeks either so don't ask.

I want to go overseas this end-year. A place with grass and farms and mountains. Maybe beaches too.

Life's been cute but there's so much to do and things keep piling up scarily and I barely have time to do what I want anymore.

I'm not complaining, not yet, just hoping I could break away before I get thrown back into this gruesome mess again.

2009-07-13T22:17:00.006+08:00

Am dealing with the mundane concerns of day-to-day school life. Whats new, really?

It scares me how school blends right back into my life so easily. It seems as though the inflexibility has already became part of me a really long time ago, just that it didn't hit me quite there yet.

On the brighter side, date with orthodontist on Thursday (pink braces are getting gay) and haircut on Saturday! Also, drew up pretty shopping list while seemingly copying Chinese notes this morning.

Now all that's left is the kaching part. Oh, man.

2009-07-08T20:27:00.002+08:00

I want H1N1 to go away and mass assembly to come back so that I can stare at hot guys and feel the thrill of investiture again.

2009-06-26T00:46:00.007+08:00

Wake up.
Do e-learning.
Get fed up.
Do some more e-learning.
Die from e-learning.
Mentally and physically exhaust self.
Sleep.

Kang Kang Goes to Camp (哈k!46.3 II)

2009-06-22T20:11:00.000+08:00

These days are like huge emotional struggles rolled into one (and as people always ask - follow heart or follow mind?).

Welfare BBQ

哈k!46.3

2009-06-16T17:55:00.005+08:00

哈k!46.3

Restrictions. Ever wanted so badly to do something, but having something else so strong holding you back? What do you want? Wait, what will happen?

I think too much. Many people tell me that. I'm not those that would go head-first into any situation. I can't stand mistakes. I can't stand disappointments. And most of the time I hate myself for being such a perfectionist.

Pushing that aside (as much as it would go), camp was good. I loved praise and worship, bible study in the little room, sharing, knowing each other better and simply staying up the whole night. Watching stars, sprinting around Bugis and Raffles City like mad womans, talking about guys, listening.

So much more to say. ]:

2009-06-10T22:25:00.002+08:00

Boards are almost done - the last time I felt so proud was probably during SYF.

Need. To. Do. Homework. After camp (along with barbaques and a little more painting and braces and project day and Sims 3 -ugh thanks so much for taking the last week away-). D<

I hope my pants are long enough... back after camp. :D

2009-06-04T15:22:00.008+08:00

Life's been great (with all that good food and out-of-the-blue jokes and laughter). How are your holidays? :D